just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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