lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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