Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize