I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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