just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My vagina just clenched in fear
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
