She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
