I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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