I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
