it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
