I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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