im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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