Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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