Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
