So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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