just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
