kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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