Already got asked if we're dating
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
they're like a gay fantastic four
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
