I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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