Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
