It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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