Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I believe in your delicious
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
