I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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