Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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