I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
