He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
