You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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