im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
