You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
