32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize