Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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