So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
