who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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