If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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