Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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