Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
