Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize