Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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