I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How many fucks given?
0.12846
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
