dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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