I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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