we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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