she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
