Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize