I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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