just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize