shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
