he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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