I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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