Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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