She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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