oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I think people are normalizing furries
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
