walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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