is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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