Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
