I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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