you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
