with your own penis?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize