are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
