everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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