I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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