Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
